The Sacred Womb with Melanie Swan

I Don’t Know – A Poem On Peri-Menopause

Season 5 Episode 1

Today is my 49th birthday, and peri-menopause is in full swing. My last period lasted 26 hours. As my blood started to flow, I felt love and bliss emanating from my womb.

I lay on my bed for 4 hours, riding the waves of energy that flowed through the fibres of my body.

The last time I wrote a poem about my stage of womanhood was January 2021, at that point I was standing at the edge of the lake >

This poem captures the nothingness and everythingness of my current state of being.

The boat has set sail
I’m on the lake
Most of the tether has frayed

I hear…
Leave that world behind
It’s done

The fog starts to settle
Let them enjoy it
It’s no longer for you
You’re no longer for it

I know there’s land the other side
I don’t know what’s there
I know what’s there

It feels more like home
A familiar welcome signals me
It feels like a return

I have questions that don’t need an answer
Questions that aren’t really questions
I don’t have questions
There are no answers

There’s only a strand of rope left
Leave her behind
Make peace with her 
It’s noise fades, I can hear the water

Nothing matters
Everything matters
Nothing exists
Everything exists

I am the boat
I am the lake and the land
I am here
I am everything

The final strand tenses
It stretches
I pause
Watching the strand
Wondering if my heart will break.

By Melanie Swan

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Melanie is an experienced Soul & Shadow Worker, Womb Medicine Woman, podcast host, writer and trainer.

For over 20 years, she has supported individuals and healing professionals to restore connection with the body, repair attachment and separation wounds, and embody primordial wisdom rooted in the womb, heart and soul.

Melanie's approach blends somatic womb healing, shadow integration, shamanic healing and soul-level repatterning - offering a deep and lasting pathway back to the true self.

She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast, leads The Womb Medicine Woman Training and is currently writing her first book: The Sacred Womb - a handbook for coming home to our true nature, along with Poems For Peri-Menopause.

Speaker 1:

Hey, hey. So this is season five of the Sacred Womb podcast. So as I evolve and the work evolves, the podcast also evolves. So what started way back nine years or even ten years ago as a podcast to really engage with the menstrual cycle and the wisdom of the womb, really engage with the menstrual cycle and the wisdom of the womb has grown into really restoring the masculine and feminine as well and also the trauma piece which needs to be there. So whilst I used to specialize in restoring the true purpose of the menstrual cycle in the womb, I was also doing the trauma resolution work, but my focus on communication was the womb.

Speaker 1:

But really, in reality, we cannot just work with the womb. We cannot just womb with the menstrual cycle. I don't know what that was. We cannot just womb with the menstrual cycle. I don't know what that was. We can't just work with the menstrual cycle and expect to be able to be more present and in our bodies, more it. It doesn't really work. Just menstrual cycle work it helps, but it doesn't work in helping us come home to our true nature.

Speaker 1:

So what I do offer is integrative womb healing. So, yes, we work with the womb and we work with the feminine and we work with the masculine, but we have to also restore our sense of love and presence and dissolved dissociation, or else we just dissociate to different parts in our cycle and then take somebody else's blueprint or what we've read in a book as to what we should be doing. So it really needs to become part of the whole. So you'll notice on the podcast and in my work anyway, if you've been uh listening for a while, that I do include trauma healing at attachment and soul levels. But yeah, I just want, I just felt like I needed to say it really that it just we. We really do have to look at the whole picture and this work is about integrating the wisdom of the womb and the heart into the rest of the system and the masculine and feminine as well. So the focus is on integration rather than just the womb. So, yeah, I think that's been clear for a while, but needed to say it. Okay, I'll also be bringing some men onto the podcast that are doing the work because, well, and that feels so, so important and essential, because we need to get underneath this almost idolization of the feminine and trashing of the masculine, because it's not the true nature of either. We don't need to be idolizing this feminine as, uh, sort of this is flow and this is feeling, and this is amazing and this is where we need to be, and this is what's happening. There's a very subtle shift in a sense of better than and power over from the, the feminine as a collective, really, and it's not going to work. We're just going to swing the other way. So, uh, as an antidote to that, I want to bring more, more men on the podcast and talk about what they're doing and, yes, integrate that into the work. So, yeah, that's where I'm at, that's where the work is at, that's where I'm at, that's where the work is at.

Speaker 1:

I've made a fair few changes on my website. So, if you fancy going to look at that and those changes, it is there. It's all live. I've even got a photo shoot booked for September, so I'm looking forward to that and upgrading my photos because they're a little bit old. It doesn't really portray my essence anymore. So I found a lovely photographer here that I'm going to work with. But, yeah, there's plenty of changes, there's some new programs, there's different ways to work together. So, yeah, that's all live.

Speaker 1:

Okay, or, what I wanted to share with you is this poem. It's called I Don't Know. It's a poem on perimenopause and, yeah, it's quite abstract and existential, but it's where I'm at, so I thought I'd share it and I really would love to hear if any of you are feeling like this too, or, similarly, email me, leave me a podcast review in apple, or there's comments section now in spotify. So, yeah, I think we need to all talk to each other much more about menopause. I know the health industry has cottoned onto it and is exploding with supplements and you need to be doing this and you need to be doing that, and I just feel like it's another regurgitation of crap. Um, and I feel like the real thing we need to be doing is talking to each other about what it's like, about the true nature of it, about what it is like to have these body changes and have these changes in state, because that's what we need support with, or I found anyway, that's what's helpful in talking to each other and saying, ah, yeah, god, I'm there as well, or I've experienced that too, and it brings such relief and sisterhood, experienced that too, and it brings such relief and sisterhood. So, in that note, I will share this poem.

Speaker 1:

I wrote it on my 49th birthday, which was actually yesterday, and so perimenopause the state of being is in full swing. My last period lasted just 26 hours and as my blood started to flow, oh, I just felt love and bliss emanating from my womb. So I lay on my bed for about four hours, just hot water bottle to my belly and riding the waves of this energy that flowed its way through through my nervous system, through the fibers of my body and acted as a real reset. And I looked back at the last time I wrote a poem about my stage of womanhood, and that was January 2021. I can't believe. It's so far away.

Speaker 1:

And at point I got the sense that I was standing at the edge of a lake. I hadn't yet got in the lake, but I was standing at the edge of a lake. There's land the other side, it's a big lake. I was still on the edge. So now I'm on the boat and, yeah, this poem captures the nothingness and everythingness, I think, of my current state of being.

Speaker 1:

So here it is. I don't know. The boat has set sail. I'm on the lake. Most of the tether has fr sail. I'm on the lake. Most of the tether has frayed. I hear. Leave that world behind. It's done. The fog starts to settle. Let them enjoy it. It's no longer for you. You're no longer for it. I know there's land the other side. I don't know what's there. I know what's there. It feels more like home. Familiar welcome signals me. It feels like a return. I have questions that don't need an answer, questions that aren't really questions, and I don't have questions and there are no answers. There's only one strand of rope left. Leave her behind, make peace with her. Its noise fades. I can hear the water. Nothing matters, everything matters. Nothing actually exists and everything exists. I am the boat, I am the lake, I am the land. I am here, I am everything. I am the land. I am here, I am everything. The final strand tenses. It stretches. I pause watching the strand, wondering if my heart's going to break. Thank you for listening.